The ‘Evolving’ Gremlin:
Can we celebrate judgement?
I had an interesting life lesson this week about judgement. Picture the scene; I’m on a podcast with six other people, and we are talking about love, gender roles, and other divisive topics. I disagreed with one of the people at the table, and before I knew it, I went into reaction mode and closed up. I retreated and shut down ever so slightly as a reaction to the conflict.
My response was so subtle, so minor, that no one else would have noticed - no one else except a really good friend who is super dialled in. In the evening, a few hours later, I saw that I was still sitting in this guarded position and closing off even more - it was like the response was snowballing from right under my feet.
I didn't even realise I had closed up till after, and my good friend called me up on it - we spoke through it. He helped me realise that because I felt judged by another person, I allowed myself to shy away rather than stand up and claim my beliefs.
He said something I’d never heard before, and I hope I never forget. He told me that “not everyone will agree with you, and you’ll be judged” - yes, I know this, I thought. And I thought he would follow it with, “but you’ve got to ignore that and do you anyways”.
But instead, he told me, “people will judge you, and can you celebrate that judgement?”
WHAT. Celebrate judgement?!! I mean. What a lightbulb moment, so simple and yet so freeing. Yes, of course, I can celebrate judgement.
What a simple and empowering reframe. This thinking asks that I not close up even when I know I’m being judged.
It prepares me not to hide, retreat and dim myself, but instead embrace difference and use it to signal that I’m showing up as the real me.
P.S
Here’s to having amazing Gremlins by your side that pull you up on your stuff and help you find your way through it. How grateful I am for Gremlins like this in my life.
So. Go on, Gremlin.
Go on with your bad-ass self and celebrate the judgement that will inevitably come when you show up as you.
K x
