The ‘Antisocial-Social’ Gremlin:
HOW TO SHOW UP THIS FESTIVE SEASON
The festive season is well and truly upon us. For creative gremlins with blurred boundaries between work and pleasure, networking and social events are part of the creative game, right? But here’s the thing I wish someone told me. Firstly, it doesn't have to be a game. And secondly, networking is the business code for ‘meeting people and bringing something to the table’. Meeting people, bringing soul food and finding common ground with strangers is what a Gremlin does… which is why many of us will be invited to many things this month.
As reflected upon by Moi, your resident extroverted introvert Gremlin, this guide will help you show up without burning out.
At the risk of coming across as a princess and talking about the etiquette of doing things that are a huge blessing and privilege, there’s a way of operating when you’re super sensitive to other people’s energies.
I wish someone had told me these things. Here’s what I do:
Plan
Make my decision and stick to it
Make my intention
Visualise myself in the space
Take notes during the event
Say goodbye properly
Aftercare
1. PLANNING
At the risk of being rudimentary, I start with something I've learned more recently that's a game changer. It's the kind of advice I wish I had inherited and that is ‘be prepared’. Have all your clothes washed, always be groomed, have film for your camera, make sure that your documents, passport/ bank cards, etc. are in date so when you get called to go to something last minute you are ready.
I do this for two reasons.
Firstly - to make life easier, because I’ve found that often things get busy all at once, which means I may get run down or a deadline comes in before or the morning of the event, and then I don’t have the energy to pack/ get ready or ENJOY something that gets to be fun.
Secondly- I am building the trust muscle that exciting and spontaneous things happen to me, and I am subconsciously creating an identity that life is exciting and fun.
2. THE DECISION
Not everything needs to be attended to. Go with the gut instinct, and once you make a decision, stick to it. I realise that this can come off as entitled, and the fact that I'm writing an email about the etiquette of attending events is privileged. But it’s the kind of advice I wish I’d been given or witnessed rather than learning it ‘on the job’. It's better to pick events and select them carefully so that you show up with presence. Saying yes and cancelling looks bad; it gives you unnecessary headaches and cancels OR compromises your creativity the next day.
Sometimes, I spend more time debating whether I should do something or anxiously thinking through if I have the energy than if I were to say yes in my head and stick with the plan. All that back and forth of thinking is energy wasted. Quit it. Step by step and focus on the next right thing. With these following points, you can show up as you are, even if you are unsure or anxious.
4. VISUALISE
In the morning, or on the journey towards the event, I imagine how I'll show up. I feel the energy I want to bring, how I am breathing and holding myself, and I picture the warmth and radiance of others around me.
5. TAKE NOTES
During the event, I take notes. I observe the surroundings, take notes of inspiration and absorb everything, including lights, music, atmosphere, etc. I pay attention, ask names and listen. I view this moment as a blessing and research for the art direction and curation of events I’ll one-day co-create. This is an experience to draw from.
6. SAYING GOODBYE
Something I'm learning and still need to improve is the last impression I leave with people.
I'm good at the first impression, but often, two hours in, I've absorbed so much intensity that I need almost to run away or leave the space like a feral creature.
Something I heard once is that people remember how you leave them. So, since then, I have made an effort to personally say goodbye to the people who have made a difference to me. The small things, like with eye contact and a genuine, heartfelt goodbye, make it easier to say hello next time.
7. AFTERCARE
I cannot stress this enough. Clean the energy. Ideally, walk and breathe straight away and get into your body. When I get home, I shower and purify myself because I’ve absorbed a lot from people, including their emotions, their insecurities, etc, and I don’t want to sleep sitting in the thoughts and energies of other people. So. Wash it off when you get home. It seems a bit woo-woo, but it works when you intend to purify with water.
Simply learning that I need time to recover has been a significant discovery. Now, I know that I'll need some more time to myself the following day to shake off the night before. If I don’t have the extra time in the morning, a quick detour through a park and verbally saying aloud, ‘I remove all energies and experiences that are not mine,’ resets the day.
The next day, I habitually visualise and imagine everyone I met the night before doing well. I imagine them to be successful, loving and embraced.
It’s these invisible things and intentions that materialise.
Musings
“Living life as an artist is a practice.
You are either engaging in the practice
or you’re not.
It makes no sense to say you’re not good at it.
It’s like saying, “I’m not good at being a monk.”
You are either living as a monk or you’re not.
We tend to think of the artist’s work as the output.
The real work of the artist
is a way of being in the world.”- Rick Rubin
