The ‘Off Grid’ Gremlin:
I T S . B Y . C H O I C E . O K ?!…
“I’m phone-less by choice” I say to the judging eyes of yet another person who’s surprised that such a choice even still exists in modern life. It’s been 8 weeks since I quite literally threw my phone to the sharks in the Indian Ocean. Whilst the actual scenario was more ‘clumsy Gremlin’ than James Bond, it’s still a bad-ass way to taste off grid life.
And so, I share my ultimate get out phrase with you… the “I’m *insert situation* by choice” is a phrase that I keep in my back pocket to keep pesky unwanted opinions at bay. “I’m single by choice”, “I don’t have children by choice”, “I ran away from home, shaved my head and joined the circus by choice” etc ;)
I came up with the phrase when I once had my ass royally handed to me by my 15 year old baby sister who pitied me for being single. At the time, I told her there are things in life that we are told to aspire to but may not be right for us. So when someone has a different way of living to you, you don’t need to pity them but instead to get curious.
And so it goes, I found myself saying the same philosophical line… about a phone?! Weird but hey, so goes modern life. After stepping back onto dry land, I stood in front of a budget Indonesian phone shop debating which phone to get, and something didn’t feel right. I felt like I was being asked to disconnect more fully and take this as a signal to listen. Hence, my travelling without phone test began. I took up the experiment as a way to taste what it would be like to feel fifteen again without a phone and social media. Like Vipassana; where you go into ten days of silence, I knew this would be a temporary vow of ‘silence’ and I was curious about what I could learn.
Here are my lessons:
1. I sacrifice creativity over comfort
I learnt that when I have a thought which feels uncomfortable my reaction is to go to my phone. This is really dangerous to our creativity because I realised the moment between a creative impulse and the action required is the EXACT moment I subconsciously go to unlock my phone. That’s because the gap between creativity and action is uncomfortable and so the brain craves instant dopamine via the phone.
Check it out with yourself next time you get a creative jerk and you’ll see that will be the exact time you swipe to unlock your phone to distract yourself.
2. I am lazy & extractive with communication
I realised I got into the habit of doing lots of micro messaging and quick replying which was more focused on maintaining a conversation and getting those dopamine hits but it wasn’t making me feel connected. I saw that my intention was feeling wanted rather than genuinely wanting to drop into connection.
I’ve learnt that dropping in properly once a week/fournight with a long email, message and intention is a lot more enriching to my relationships than constant tiny hits of back and forth small talk.
3. I am scared to ask for help
I learnt the grace of asking for help. I can be super independent and it feels more comfortable to do things myself… with Google, rather than to ask for help and risk feeling like a burden. There’s been times where I’ve asked someone for directions or to book a cab, I felt a bit silly but it was surprising how nice people were. I learnt that feeling like a burden was a ‘me problem’ and there is a gift in being able to receive.
4. I use my camera mindlessly, and a film camera & sketchbook will help me as a creative
Not much explanation needed on this one - it’s a no brainer. A hand held camera, or keeping a sketchbook teaches us to savour our senses and be more meaningful about what we document.
5. I can’t wait to take videos of the painting process again
You know what I’m most excited about? To make EVEN better art. I’ll have a better video and camera and I’m excited to record my paintings and make new, more thoughtful videos.
Practical phone tip to share:
As I prepare to come back to London, get a phone and access my old ways of contact I want to change things up. One phone for contact & dopamine hits, and one phone for creation & creative apps.
You see, most people can be lazy with their digital choices, but with creative gremlins the phone is SUCH a third wheel between us and creative reactions that we have to be borderline neurotic about the boundaries we put around our attention. I know it’s easier said than done but there is too much at stake.
Peace and love yo, Karimah X
