The ‘Struggling’ Gremlin:
THE SCHEDULE YOU DON’T SEE ON A CALENDAR
Here’s the thing that no one tells us as creatives. The behind-the-scenes emotional labour of turning life into art will never stop. It is messy, triggers us at inconvenient times, and isn’t easy to explain. Oh, and one more thing, if the creation is aligned to purpose… then emotional work is unavoidable.
Artists don’t get paid to feel; they get paid for what they do with their feelings. And so, even though some people won’t understand the artist’s way, the Gremlin has no choice but to do the emotional labour because anything else feels like a numb lie of creative dissatisfaction. I figure Gremlins have two options:
Don’t feel, avoid emotional labour and live a mediocre creative life.
Feel, ride the lessons and live a creative life at the edges.
I’ve been talking to creatives this week about how hard it is to be freelance and be on the artist’s path because of the emotional labour we have to invest. When we commit to a creative project that feels ‘true’, then at some point along the journey, we come up against ourselves. I’ve found that often, our most significant challenges become our strengths, and when great people make great projects there is almost always an element of them overcoming some shadow or paint point.
So what’s the rub?
In this society of calendars and deadlines, the blurry lines of mental and physical well-being don’t always conform to nicely predicted schedules. So, even if we do our best to keep on top of our health, as we step into our purpose even more, our dreams & vision expand, and we inevitably come up against more shadows and obstacles that wish to be integrated.
Pushing yourself to alchemise life into art sometimes feels like gold, and sometimes it feels sucky. Hence, the ‘when will it stop’ syndrome. This is because Gremlins know that we have no choice but to turn our experience into gold. However, the inner healing process isn’t linear like our deadlines; it is sensitive, unique and hard to forecast.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that it is difficult to ride the period of processing internal changes whilst also staying committed to business promises and deliverables.
And so, how do you separate the process of healing from the process of business? I don’t have the answer yet. Perhaps it’s a combination of grit, commitment to the practice and the grace of self-forgiveness
Fall seven times, stand up eight mentality.
I think one of the saving graces behind the artist’s journey is knowing that you’re not alone and that there are other Gremlins also riding on the emotional labour/sensitive existence rollercoaster.
Keep going.
Love K x
